Do you have issues trusting other people? Are you positive that the only one you can count on is yourself? You are probably right if you look hard enough!

Some people argue that you have to trust other people in order to live a happy, fulfilling life. While that may be true to a certain extent because you can’t shut everyone out, you can’t overlook the importance of trusting yourself first and foremost.

So often we get side-lined by others. They mislead us, whether intentionally or not, and cause us to go down the wrong path.

Before we know it, we’re in the middle of something we swore we’d never do, wondering how we got there, often blaming others for our disorientation or failures.

While clearly not everyone has ulterior motives, the problem comes in when we don’t listen to and trust ourselves from the beginning, often going along with another despite knowing it is misaligned with our own intentions.

WHAT CAN WE DO? 

Know yourself intimately. Understand how you think and feel so that you know when you’re at risk of making a bad decision. You can do this a number of ways. 

You can:

Write down your strengths, weaknesses, triggers, thoughts and behaviours. Sometimes it helps just to see it all in writing and connecting with good old-fashioned pen and paper. Avoid using computers.

Meditate. It’s hard to get to know yourself when things constantly distract you. Take some time to just sit quietly so that you can clear your mind and engage your focus. There are a number of ways to meditate but for me heading out on a trail or cross-country run offers the chance to both clear my mind and my lungs and reconnect with nature.

Avoid personality tests. It is very easy to put yourself into a box and limit yourself from what you have been told. Start to think for yourself and avoid the temptation to believe the restrictions you have inherited, they may just be wrong.

Challenge your intuition. Often we get in trouble if we don’t trust that discomfort when we know we are doing something we would normally not. We feel like something is wrong or out of place, but because we can’t verbalize why, we decide that we’re overreacting or wrong. Listen and challenge yourself when you feel discomfort, you have evolved over millennia to survive.

Accept responsibility for your own actions.

If you’re going to trust yourself, you have to stop blaming others for choices you make. Yes, they may have done something that put you in a decision-making situation, but in the end it’s up to you what action you take. If you don’t like where you are right now, then do something about it, you cannot waste another day complaining.

Start being honest with yourself. You have to admit when you screw up. If you never own up to making a bad decision or mistake, then you’re lying to yourself and how can you trust a liar? Mistakes are normal and actually key to your own development, I certainly believe that more can be learned from our mistakes than our successes. Fail more. 

Put yourself first. If you’re going to have faith in yourself, you have to be willing to put your needs in front of others.

You have to take care of yourself mentally and physically.

Make sure you give your body nutritious food, ample water and a good amount of exercise. Keep it strong and healthy so it runs efficiently and effectively. You cannot expect yourself to be the best version of you and perform if you are consuming chemically rich foods and failing to mobilise.

Trust yourself then and only then trust others. 

If you need any help or looking for some guidance the why not reach out.

 

 

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